Date:	2006-05-25 13:39
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	pensive

Today I bought my first major appliance: a toaster oven. Its beautiful, it works, and it was only $20 at Target. Which also makes me think, I'm pretty much an adult. I've unofficially moved out of Hamden, and hopefully will never live there for an extended period of time again. Right now I'm living in what is essentially an apartment: I have a bed, a "seating area", a bathroom, and and food area. I'm working, and getting paid. I travel by myself, and budget my money to make sure I can do these things. I'm 19 years old, and I live in the Bronx, which I could not love more.

Which is incredibly sad, because I really want to be in the 17-19 age range for the rest of my life. I don't want to turn 20 next year, I don't want to get a job with more responsibility/stressful hours, but maybe with lots more pay. I could pretty easily go back to last summer and travel all over the place and live with the Johnsons in East Haven. But then again, I really can't. I would be so frustrated and bored if I had to live in my house in Hamden again. I need this independance, and I definetly could not go back to living at home now. I know everyone loves coming home for the summer, and I love Hamden to death for all the fun times I've had there, but I can't go back. Oh well.

Please come visit me. I'll make you a grilled cheese in my toaster oven.

Create your own Music List @ HotFreeLayouts!

such a waste of time. yay.

drumline is such a good movie. we ARE the pulse of this band. now give me some mutha fuckin' push ups.

this is completely random. i'm home on easter break (fordham gives us almost a week). nothing to do. sam is doing a paper, i'm not going to end up seeing ahna, and i'm just a lazy girl.

subconciously, i've begun wearing black and navy in EVERY outfit. thank you marc jacobs fall collection 2005 for making THAT ok again.

next couple weeks are going to be rough. just think of me.

i'm watching ER. this is weird. lots of yellings.

anyway, i'm on spring break, feelin' good. midterms ended a week before break started, s i was pretty much doing nothing for a week. went out too much, spent to much money, made too much of a scene in bronx sports bar.

i can't believe how fast this semester is going to go once i get back to campus. well starting on sunday kind of. i'm flying into boston on saturday and then picking sean up on sunday to drive to new haven, where i need to see sah-mahn-tha before getting a train back to campus (sean and sam together? what?). then theres advisement, driving the bus/van/wheels of death for the rest of my life, easter, spring weekend, finals, senior week... and then not coming back. i made the decision to stay in new york this summer confident in the fact that i did not want to go back to connecticut. in all honestly, i really feel that theres nothing left for me. i'm not coming back to see anyone that can't get on a train and come see me or that i can't see in east haven (yes, i already told the johnsons they have a permanant weekend guest and i need to be picked up from the train station every saturday morning), and it would just be too hard to find work that i would genuinely enjoy and get something (money, experience, etc.) out of back home. i'm making a disgusting amount of money, i'm living with some great people, and i'm in the city. train to hamden, train to sagaponack, train to central park. i really have no complaints. but now i'm worried. everyone at ram van is great, but i don't REALLY know any of them nor very good friends, and now i have to live with them. i'm technically an alternate and pretty much everyone has assured me i make as much money as everybody else, but i don't have a set schedule so i really can't take a class or anything like that. probably means lots of books, lots of weekends in sag, and PLEASE COME VISIT ME. i'm staying in a loft, sooooo.... you can sleep on the floor. bissoux.

goran vjisnic is pretty good looking. kind of the poor man's clive owen. except... serbian?

i'm sunburned and who knew i would get wireless service in a retirement community in south florida?

"List seven songs you are into right now. then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to."

1) sixteen maybe less by iron and wine and calexico
2) quattro (remix) by calexico
3) evening sun by the strokes
4) we are no where and its now by bright eyes
5) get together by madonna
6) smack my bitch up by prodigy
7) ojos asi (unplugged) by shakira

i tag: toutes personnes. (everybodaaaaayyy).




i love the bronx. i stand at my window every morning and survey my land and my people. the bx 12. the wash n' lube across the street. the drug dealers. i love them all like they were my own.

thanks vanity fair for sending the naked keira knightley and scarlet johannson issue a week after it came out. smoochie boochies.

i'm so excited to see leah in my city. i took off work for you, this had better be good. (bien sur).

Date:	2006-02-05 23:50
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper

so this weekend sucked less than last. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named did not suck quite as much because he had a cold and was slightly delirious, thus confusing himself into talking to me. i slept toute jour yesterday and today i shacked up in starbucks and read about young boys' educations during the enlightenment... and the like. the super bowl is a choice time to do laundry.

it is 12:00 am, sean is bowling out in the hallway with black jeana, and it is officially mo's birthday. yay, i like college.

ps. i may be living here this summer, and i'm def staying here an extra week to serve the senior's their university-paid-for alcohol. so no ccb III in CT till may 3... 0 whatever it almost rhymed.

Date:	2006-01-28 19:06
Subject:	pissed, comme d'habitude
Security:	Public
Mood:	depressed

i'm pretty angry about a bunch of things right now. first off, i made a really stupid decision in working late nights with the balloon guy. I actually don't really mind working that late, it's just that the real perk of working that late is that you usually like the other person you're working with and you're friends and you get along. 100% of that equation has failed so far. I do not like him whatsoever, nor do I think he likes me very much, I don't see any way that we will ever be friends, and outside of mumbling and grunting at each other, which I suppose is the bare minimum qualifier of getting along, we don't talk to each other. it really sucks just because for some reason (ok, i do know the reason) I purposely decided to work with this kid, and it's just blowing up in my face. I asked my friend to switch shifts with me, but he said no way in hell, so I'm pretty much stuck right now. 18 more weeks of this. oh and plus, the person I work with says he wants to work during the summer, which really makes me rethink wanting to work during the summer because I don't see anyway I could work with him ever again, let alone LIVE with him during the summer. pas moi.
secondly, I don't know what I'm doing about this living situation for next year. So far I don't have a roommate, a place to live, or even a clue of who I want to live with. Everyone I talk to says I need to figure this out, but I don't want to think about it, I don't want to cause conflict, and I just all around don't want to deal with it right now. I wish I could live in lorillard with the boys that need a 5th roommate. I know I say I'm happy about it all the time, but I feel like I've boxed myself in with being friends with certain people and I can't branch out. I feel trapped and I feel like I have no options for next semester. Tonight doesn't help since in my one night off, everyone decides to stay in. I don't want to be selfish and I don't want to be ME ME ME, but I can go out one night a week, and I don't want to spend it eating pizza and watching movies. I do that the rest of the week.

Next week is my birthday. I'm not even that excited.

yay second semester! classes are ok so far, books have not been that expensive, and it is great to be back in the city. the only thing that is throwing me off is work. i started doing friday late nights, which mean i drive from 10pm until 330-4ish am. i work with this guy named will, and truth be told, i only chose to work with him because he's really really really good-looking. unfortunatly, he's also pretty much a shell and nothing is there. so pretty boring for me for most of the night. however, my friends charles and brian do the shift right after mine, and seeing them when our shifts over lap pretty much makes my night. i wish i had worked out to work with either of them instead of will, who is like a hot balloon full of nothing. but thats not really throwing me off because its really not that important. the really important thing is, i don't know if you got this before, but i work until 4 am. hookers work until 4 am. i had two pukes, one of which was BEFORE i left lincoln center and while i was talking to charles and brian. i come back to a steaming pile of puke and no one sitting in the van will admit to it. give me a break, someone must have done it. anyway, my van got cleaned twice, i was late to lincoln center once, and west 56th street was closed because club exit aka the ghetto teen club was having everyone in the world come down and gather in the street. fabulous.

anyway, not much else to say. my shoulder still hurts.

and i will say it loud and proud, i like fall out boy. the end.

this place is crazy. i feel like hamden is a bubble. i haven't done anything for two weeks. i haven't called/hung out with anyone but sammy, greg, and AJ. i'm not complaining, i like this very much. i have no responsibilites, i have nothing to do, and no one is asking me for anything. i'm very relaxed and i am tres hereuse i spent my holiday comme ca.

christmas was spent around the dining room table in 98 daniels lane drinking champagne, being sick, and watching violent spielberg movies. <b>munich</b>=A+. eric bana=A+++.
new years was sledding, sparkler caligraphy, and shakira (did you think it would be anything else?).
lsat weekend was vermont, shredding up some intermediate courses, and extreme tubing injuries. seriously, i could not lift my arm.

i miss school alot. i don't really know what to do in hamden, with myself or with my time. i went tanning. i read some books. i spent money on clothes (comme d'habitude). but i miss school and my schedule and work and lacey and club 203 and the people i drink beer and take pictures with. soon enough.

jumping the the bandwagon? is that what we're calling it?

( action! )

before i forget, here's my new reading list:

tete-a-tete: simone de beauvoir and jean-paul sartre by rowley
empire rising by kelly
maps for lost lovers by aslam
on beauty by smith
veronica by gatskill
boss tweed: the rise and fall of the corrupt pol who conceived the soul of modern new york by ackerman
oh the glory of it all by wilsey
snowstruck: in the grip of avalanches by fredston
the devil's picnic: around the world in pursuit of forbidden fruit by grescoe

Date:	2005-12-03 14:57
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired

i just want to document the past 48 hours so i can reference this whenever i think of working 6 days in a row again.

thursday morning i went to close reading at 830, and as i am want to do, i looked forward to class. "scott" is by far my favorite professor and i really like everyone in that class, more because they're not the idiots from my faith class than the fact that we talk about how we hate bono at the end of every class. however today scott has decided to show us apocolypse now instead of having a regular class. this is the second movie we've watched IN COLLEGE and i hate it. i get nothing out of it and its not even particularly good. we watched fight club before the break, which was good until the ending. but long story short, i was bored.
next was politics, which is short for nap time. i can't wait for this class to be over. i don't understand political philosophy, nor do i care to understand it, and when i got my fucking 10 page paper back with a B- i said fuck the revision this is good enough.
only 3 more monday/thursday lunches with anne and sean. end of an era.
so i skipped over to faber to put my french essay (which i was up until 2 doing, though most of the time was spent watching anchorman on the fourth floor with jeana and doing this kid's english essay on irony, but that was my own fault) in cospen's box because i'm not going to class because i'm catering with festivities in connecticut with katie. what a freaking nightmare. 500 guests, 7 PEOPLE ON THE FLOOR, and two bartenders that didn't show up. fab. as chris, my gay floor manager said, "welcome to our little corner of hell". merry christmas fairfield county junion league. instead of getting out at 1030 and snagging the 1038 train back to fordham, we punched out at 1130 and got the 1138. fab. back at school at 1, where sean and kat are in the hall and i have to sit and chat because i haven't seen them in forever (um, 7 hours MAYBE) and then bed at 2.
did i mention that i had to wake up at 645 to register online at 7 for spring semester? fucking fab. got up, sat in front of my computer, and proceeded to have a small child's nightmare as HERR DOCTOR wolfgang mueller didn't explain the correct way to log into OASIS. thanks bub. i finally figure it out and then register for everything BUT WEST BECAUSE THERE ARE ONLY TWO SECTIONS LEFT FOR THE ENTIRE FRESHMAN CLASS. what the hell. my schedule was perfect and west had to fuck it up. so poor me, on TWF i end at 220 instead of 120.
Intro to Astronomy MR 830-945
Intermediate French 1 MR 530-645
Philosophy of Human Nature TWF 1130-1220
Composition and Rhetoric TWF 1230-120
History of the West from the Enlightenment to the Present TWF 130-220
not bad, i really don't mind the 830, my roommate took astronomy this semester and it was pretty easy and it fulfilled her science requirement. bon.
so folks, after 5 hours of sleep, 7 hours of work, and 15 mintues of hell, it was time to ram van at 8. it was actually not too bad, got down to the city in record time, and zoomed back up to sleep until finite at 1130. no nap after finite since sean came up to talk to me and kat, then faith, and then more ram van from 7 to 1030, where i then proceeded to sprint up to the ram van office, get my money checked ("MISRAIN I HAVE TO GOOOOOOOO!!!!"), and then sprint back downstairs to get on the 1030 ram van BACK to the city. slowest ram van of all time, then sprint up to 67th to eat with catherine, renee, and katie at il violino, which i feel is becoming our place because its delicious and they keep the bar open for us extra late. anyway, i think because i was so exhausted from everything, i was pretty happy after two glasses of red wine. the walk back to lincoln center was quite hysterical, though cold. i think our driver back was a little scared, but i think i thoroughly embaressed myself enough to justify it. anyway, i came back, passed out and slept until 130.
now i need to shower, work until 10 tonight, go out?, and then work from 3 until 830 next week. i leave ahna my ipod when i die because she likes the beach boys and my hip hop collection.

Date:	2005-11-27 22:39
Subject:	trick-do-fane? trick-o-pain?
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful

happy thanksgiving! i'm thankful for long weekends at home where i don't smell like chlorine.

during thanksgiving weekend, there is no need to have a cell phone. you have the green bowl a day late and see bedocs, britt press, dominique, colleen spilka, kevin stanford, ben young, the bergs, fritz, y kit. for everyone else, you have the corner of broadway and york, where in the combined block space i saw elspeth, henry julier, ellie's boyfriend, avi bergman, caitlin holman, murrdeth, tran, meg mckeon, jake blasini, and nick alexandrov. make sure you get down there next time if you want to see me.

back here. i decorated. christmas=isn't here fast enough. now i get to look forward to 4 weeks of sleeping until 230 pm.

FUCK i forgot about christmukkah yes can we do it soon it'll be 10^9x FUNNER this year because it'll be in the MAIL!!! who doesnt love MAIL??? why does this update look like noel after he had the beet root powder???

Date:	2005-11-15 16:17
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	mellow

back to lists...

1. i saw RENT sunday night with the usual suspects. i liked the music and the dancing, but i just can't get behind the story. i like more fantastical theater, and i just can't really care about someone trying to pay their rent. remember me, the girl with the ice heart? anyway, the real highlight was at the end of the show: the cast members are announcing an auction that will be taking place, and the proceeds will go to benefit cancer research. so they're listing all these different cancers that have been researched, and when they get to cervical cancer, someone in the audience WOOs. who the fuck woos for cancer? WWWOOOOO I HAD CANCER WOOO RAISE MONEY FOR MEEEEEE! anyway, to keep my reputation of high class going, CLacey and I proceeded to woo away as the rest of the cancers were listed, and for some reason, sean looked at both of us when that occurred. anyway, AIDS.

2. the holiday season is fast approaching, and i am excited to go home. i want my bed, i want my friends, i want an easily available starbucks, and i even want to work at whitneyville pour un peu. also, i am tres excited for it to snow and to be able to go boarding again. i'm very jealous of leah in canada, and linds and kat in vermont, but hopefully this warm weather won't last.

3. i have a general ram van meeting in an hour and a half, and i'm pretty sure they're going to yell at us because there have been beaucoup de complaints and someone dented van 2 and no one will admit to who did it. anyway, we're going to get yelled at, and then told to figure out our schedules for next semester so we can figure out our work schedules for next semester. i've been surprisingly happy with ram van ever since that first nightmare friday night with the hours of traffic and rob about to beat me every time i came in (he's very tall). so that's going great.

p.s. leah i saw shopgirl as well and i loved it. i looked at more from a technical perspective (i guess it was just the mood i was in that night), and the way it was shot took my breath away. one of my top ten of the year. also, i saw pride and prejudice this past week and i highly recommend that, i will have an English country estate when i grow up.

coheed and cambria new cd 9/20
sean paul new cd 9/27
nickel creek at nokia theater 10/7
madonna new cd 11/15
the strokes new cd 1/24!!!!!!!

everything is illuminated 9/16
thumbsucker 9/16
a history of violence 9/23
the squid and the whale 10/5
shopgirl 10/21
the family stone 11/4
jarhead 11/4
the new world 11/9
harry potter 11/18
rent 11/23
the chronicles of narnia 12/9
king kong 12/14
match point 12/25

Date:	2005-09-07 12:38
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative

leah and/or anyone that took American Studies read http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/07/opinion/07sittenfeld.html note the mrs. canalori quote and the author.

Date:	2005-09-04 18:48
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	happy

college is... fun. its hard and fun and crazy and confusing all mixed together. and just because its hard and crazy sometimes doesn't mean i would want to be home. i'm having an awesome time. i miss everyone, but i want everyone to come visit me. new york is... fun.

i dont have dorm pictures because i'm a ghetto ass and i don't have a digital camera. just image 2/3 really neat, and 1/3 totally dedicated to mary kate olsen. that's kind of it.

i've been listening to the new death cab for cutie cd, which i love very much. and if i had a reason to other than this song, the song i will follow you into the dark would make me cry every time.

so like many others have said, once sunday comes around, i don't know how often this thing will be updated/checked. keep a look out, and one last hurrah.

the vineyard was great. lots of beach. a man in cuffed jeans and white sneakers asking my mom is she ever gave CPR to a duck. everyone in the vineyard is from connecticut, or knows someone from cheshire academy. the forty-year old virgin is hysterical. i drooled over seth rogan.

but now i'm back, and i'm going to fairfield tomorrow to pick up my computer. i move in on sunday. tim dineen sent me a facebook message to meet up on sunday because he has nothing else to do (oh now that makes me feel good).

this summer was amazing, one of the best. graduation, california, sagaponack for the fourth, almost moving in with the johnsons in east haven, LP '05, maine, sagaponack again, and then the vineyard. i'm spoiled.

all i want for the fall couture season is marc jacobs's brown leather quilted bag and balenciaga's camel toggle coat with the fox trim. gimme dat.

Date:	2005-08-18 00:38
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired

back from sagaponack. bursting with stories.
i have so much to pack and no time.
i watched the royal tenenbaums before i left for the millionth time and i actually got it. and its still my favorite movie.
my nails are really long and its really hard to type and i feel like a cheap whore.
i really need chapstick.
i'm saying goodbye to ryan tomorrow.
i drove around the fairfield campus looking for ahna's dorm, but i couldn't find it. she told caro last week that he started with a "b", but sorry, only the old priest's home up on the hill begins with a b.

i can't wait to move in.

oh, and i found out the real lyrics to that fall out boy song and they totally suck, i'm still singing my own version when it comes on the radio.

Date:	2005-08-08 17:56
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	bitchy

We got in a big fight, and every time I said something mean or hurtful, or even totally not true, I just felt myself getting heavier and heavier. I drove up to East Rock to calm down, and it was very windy up at the top. Every time this happens, every time I blow it, every time she says something so stupid that I want to hit her, I just got heavier and heavier, and all I wanted to do at the top of East Rock was to blow away.

This is so stupid.